Worst selling Guitar Hero titles vol. 4

This idea for creating fake Guitar Hero game boxes has been knocking around in my head for some time. It took a cold night with nothing to do to make me to sit down and waste time(*) actually creating them. I've thought of about 20 guitarists I'd like to...um...honor? this way. And I'm absolutely kicking myself for not having Keith Rowe on that list.

No one has changed the very essence of "guitarness" more than Rowe. He didn't turn guitar playing on its head so much as he put it on the table. Instead of adopting the axe as any sort of substitute phallus, Rowe chose to put the instrument on a table and then poke and prod at it as if it were a biology lab project. Call it tabletop guitar if you must, but that makes it sound so clinical. You wouldn't call Frankenstein clinical, would you?

I saw AMM play in Houston, Texas many centuries ago. The show was recorded and released as Before Driving To The Chapel We Took Coffee With Rick And Jennifer Reed (aka the most ridiculous album title in the history music.) It was an absolutely mind-bending experience. I hate to bust the tired music snob cliche out on you, but the recording doesn't do the experience of AMM proper justice. The things Keith Rowe did to his guitar were positively revelatory. I'd never seen or heard anything quite like it. Since then, it's become a fairly standard practice, at least to a certain Wire-reading population of eggheads. You know the type-- the ones standing around before the show, pensively stroking their facial hair, wondering aloud whether Rowe is the guitar's Picasso or Beckett.

So, I'd like to thank my friend, Paul Booker, for planting the seed. I believe the instructions for this game require the player to push the buttons with items found in your dad's toolbox.

Keith Rowe & Toshimaru Nakamura live in ST.Louis Feb 02-03 from joseph raglani on Vimeo.

* "Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time"

-Bertrand Russell

Worst selling Guitar Hero titles vol. 3

You only thought your parents hated your music. This one guaranteed to have your parents paying you to stop.

Oh, Jandek. I love the way you creep me out.

Some youtuber has posted the Jandek documentary: Jandek on Corwood.

Worst selling Guitar Hero titles vol. 2

It's about time Sony reduced this guy's oeuvre to 5 buttons and a toggle switch. You know, for the kids.

Worst selling Guitar Hero titles vol. 1

The first in a series.

I'm pretty sure this guy's a genius

After all, he's from Finland. This is the work of the Santeri Ojala, aka StSanders. You may remember the "shreds" videos he did a couple of years ago. They were brilliant, but lately he's edged into full on genius territory. Instead of just bad guitar solo synching, he's now doing full on covers of entire songs. I guess one would call it a parody. But I think it's something more. I'll call it a "parodigm." It is an art form that would be impossible without the webbernet.

I wanted to embed his Rolling Stones homage, but he's disembedinated it. Watch it. Empty your bladder first.

Kammerflimer Kollektief - Wildling

Kammerflimmer Kollektief is one of the few bands that send me into giddy anticipation when I get news they’ve released a new album. Maybe that’s because they’re one of those bands I can claim as “mine,” and I still get that sophomoric kick when I mention a band my friends have never heard of. And they have a cool name to boot. Just saying “Kammerflimmer Kollektief” makes me feel cool. How many band names do that anymore?

The band is a collective in the true sense of the word. The lineup has shifted constantly over 11 years and 8 albums. Only one original member remains. So it’s a remarkable testament to the vision of the “kollektief” that the music has remained so consistent.

For their newest album, Wildling, the group is paired down to just a trio. This has focused their sound considerably, though the sound is unmistakably “kammerflimmer.”

“Kammerflimmer” translates literally into “shimmering,” which is not a bad way to begin describing the music the band makes. Though it is a peculiar kind of shimmering -- more like the way stars would shimmer on the surface of a lake at night. There’s always a bit of a spooky element just under the surface that makes describing their music difficult. I could tell you that they basically find a subtle, comfy groove, settle into it and let various avant jazz-inspired acoustic and electronic sounds wash in and out of the cracks, but that would be a bit like saying the Ramones played three-chord punk rock. It’s just not fair.

The main thing that separates this new album from the others is the prevalence of Heike Aumuller’s vocals. Though her voice appeared on a few tracks of the last album, Jinx, it is on all but two here. Normally, the addition of vocals is something that would elicit much moaning and gnashing of teeth from yours truly. I adore instrumental music. And Kammerflimmer has produced many albums of astonishing instrumental music. I know I’m in the minority, but usually the addition of vocals usually means the affair is over for me. It certainly ruined my love for bands like Papa M and Mice Parade. So I was fully prepared for the potential of something ghastly. But once again, Kammerflimmer deliver beautifully and surpass expectations.

Not only do Aumuller’s vocals match the eerie qualities of the music perfectly, but they add a new, even more ghostly quality. Her vocals alternate between actual lyrics that you can almost understand and the sort of bewitching, shamanic scat vocalise she debuted on jinx. It’s exactly the kind of thing that could go terribly wrong. Not only is there something truly artistic about the way she pulls it off, but she might actually be exorcizing demons.

I’ve always thought Kammerflimmer Kollektief would be an obvious choice for film music. There is an inherent soundtracky quality to what they do. Many of their pieces would be right at home in a David Lynch movie. Come to think of it, that’s a fairly apt comparison and maybe one of the reasons Kammerflimmer aren’t more popular. They tend to want to explore places that can be a little uncomfortable. But they do it gracefully, fearlessly, and without any sense of irony -- qualities lacking in much of both popular film and music today.

Never Stop

Let's just say I learned a lesson and move on, shall we?